No one has ever looked forward to losing a parent, or both of them for all that matter. So, no one really prepares for it, and nobody even handed the guide or the manual, or maybe even a cheat code in handling being an orphan, in particular young adult orphan. Be it if it happens when you’re a kid, or even you’re as old as someone’s parents. Everyone know that we are all going to die, but no one really knew when and how. Sometimes you will get a hunch like a fatal illness, sometimes you don’t, and the person you most cherished passed away in their sleep, the point is, you just never know when it happens.
Moving on after the passing of a loved ones is notably tough. You don’t just lose your parents. You will feel like a part of your life has just been ripped away from you. And the pain of it is undoubtedly excruciating. The terrible part is when you lose your both of your parents and you see yourself turning into a young adult orphan. It’s a new term to be calling yourself with. It will take yourself some time to adjust with it. At first, everything will be fairly new to you but don’t worry. It will come around as a norm for you. In the meanwhile, here’s some tips on how to handle being a young adult orphan.
How to Handle Being a Young Adult Orphan
Death can do questionable things to people. One of them being, people having a hard time to accept the truth. But, that’s the circle of life, it ends in death. Thus, you have to shake yourself up and accept the reality of your parents passing on. Forgive yourself while you’re at it. Many people often feels remorseful or regret because of past arguments or disputes. No parent-child relationships are perfect. So, accept that the past has ended and unchangeable. Instead, reflect on the good times that they would want you to remember while raising you to become a decent human being.
Take care of their unfinished business
Be a responsible child. Take care of their affairs, such as the funeral arrangements, hospital bills, the eulogy if there’s any, organizing their belongings, repay their their debts, and many others. There a lot to be done as their child. Help your parents by settling their personal concerns that they did not make it to finish before they passed away. List down everything that needs to be done and do it. It will also help yourself to feel at ease, to know that you have contributed something in their life. It also helps take your mind off a bit by keeping you busy with arranging everything.
Give yourself some time to grieve
People always tells you to be strong whenever there’s a death of someone who is close to us. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be sad or shed a tear about it. It’s a part that needs to be done in order to move on. Give yourself a chance to cry your heart out, to heal the wound that’s been throbbing in your heart. Or maybe shout your heart out in the hills or mountains. Take some time to grieve. Don’t keep it all caged up in your heart. Don’t burden your heart with something that needed to be freed of heavy emotions. It will in the end hurts you back mentally and even physically.
Reach out to a close friend or relatives
Most crucial part after the death of your parent/s is to reach out to someone you’re close with. Someone that you trust. Be it, your uncle or aunt, your siblings, your close friends or maybe even your good neighbour. Don’t spend all your time alone as it will deteriorates your downfall and might pull you into depressions, anxiety, heart attack or coronary heart diseases and many other health issues. Most people don’t understand the despair of losing a parent. So, talk to someone that have similar grieves. Be more open about your feelings to help people understand your grief.
Support your family
Grief is dreadful and every individuals experience it differently. Reach out to your siblings or family members. You might have moved on earlier, but more often than not, they might not feel the same. Check up on your siblings and see how they’re doing. Be there for them. Don’t let them locked themselves up, engulfed in emotions of misery. Talk to them and let them know that you are there for them. Call your uncles and aunts, or maybe your grandparents. You might lose your parents, but they lost their son or daughter that they have cared and raised for all of their life.
Get right back on your feet
After all of that, don’t forget to check up on yourself too. It’s easier to feel lost when you are too focusing on everyone else to even take care of yourself. Take a break if you feel overwhelmed. Don’t force yourself to be in situations you don’t wanna be in. Breathe. Assure that it all will be okay soon. Ensure a self-care routine is thoroughly organise. Don’t skip your meals, go for a walk, meet your friends for some coffee or tea, do whatever it takes to get yourself right back up on your feet, do something for yourself so that you don’t lose yourself. Your parents wouldn’t want it any other way.
Appreciate the little things in life
Experiencing death on firsthand could teach a lot of things. One of them being, life is short. So, don’t waste your time moping around for something that already happen and unalterable. Appreciate the little things. List the things that you are grateful for like a cup of fresh brewed coffee, or the cooling sea breeze – then you will learn to love the life that you have. Show some gratitude for the living. As simple as not littering, and picking up the trash on your walking route. Donate to the people in need. There are more to life to look out for so don’t hinder yourself from loving and living them wholeheartedly. These are your gifts of perspective as a young adult orphan.
In a nutshell
No one prepares you to be a young adult orphan. So, you are left alone to fend for yourself. So, it is up to us to stay strong and move on with our life or give in to the despair of griefs. People commonly regards the death of a parent as something quite the norm, the natural order of mother nature, but for who those who have gone through it would know it firsthand on how life-changing it could be. Loss and agony will be etched in our heart but that heart can grow and beating with new hope to enjoy and live your life the way your parents would want you too. To cherish this life the way they did.
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